Chuck Norris was once fed music staff paper on accident. When he defecated later that night, the remains of the paper was a beautiful piece. He gave it to his friend Beethoven, who called it his fifth symphony. Chuck was angry that Beethoven had not given him any of the money he made, so he shot Beethoven in the ear, resulting in deafness.
76% of all suicides are committed when someone finds out that they are not Chuck Norris.
Ben and Jerry's was recently forced to pull their new flavor, "Chuck Norris' Roundhouse Swirl", from shelves following a slew of complaints from parents. The ice cream was blood red, and contained pieces of small children and rusty nails.
A foolish man once asked Chuck Norris, "Boxers or briefs?" Chuck Norris laughed a mighty and cheerful laugh, then tore the man’s intestines out of his ass and used them to strangle him. Yes, remarkable as it may sound, it appears there are some people who are simply unaware that a man as sexy as Chuck Norris can't help but go commando.
The original title of the Bible was "Chuck Norris and Friends."
Chuck Norris once ate an entire live crocodile, then punched Steve Irwin in the face for being such a pussy.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
The term "carnivore" was invented after Chuck Norris was spotted at a carnival eating babies.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Devious Comments
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"Poetry is the perfume of the soul." - Otep Shamaya
--
Don't go near the water, until you learn how to swim.
wrong linkage O_o
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We'll Survive this one..
ಠ_ಠ
ChIkEnMaN
a game for your pc O_o
it be a 2d MMORPG
--
We'll Survive this one..
ಠ_ಠ
ChIkEnMaN
--
We'll Survive this one..
ಠ_ಠ
ChIkEnMaN
--
I don't know things.
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Don't go near the water, until you learn how to swim.
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why eat paint chips when from the can its fresher
heres to u mrs robinson
--
James Pipetti
Art Institute of Pittsburgh
Photography
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James Pipetti
Art Institute of Pittsburgh
Photography
--
I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.
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I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.
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I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.
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I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.
The blind hippy tells me to stare into the giant burning ball of helium.... something tells me not to listen to him...
i found an awesome site, [link]
suuup mark
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Don't go near the water, until you learn how to swim.
--
James Pipetti
Art Institute of Pittsburgh
Photography
--
James Pipetti
Art Institute of Pittsburgh
Photography
"QUIT RAPING ME WITH YOUR EYES"
--
James Pipetti
Art Institute of Pittsburgh
Photography
--
"Are the gods not just?"
"Oh no, child. What would become of us if they were?"
~Till We Have Faces, by C.S. Lewis
--
"Are the gods not just?"
"Oh no, child. What would become of us if they were?"
~Till We Have Faces, by C.S. Lewis
Chuck Norris was once fed music staff paper on accident. When he defecated later that night, the remains of the paper was a beautiful piece. He gave it to his friend Beethoven, who called it his fifth symphony. Chuck was angry that Beethoven had not given him any of the money he made, so he shot Beethoven in the ear, resulting in deafness.
76% of all suicides are committed when someone finds out that they are not Chuck Norris.
Ben and Jerry's was recently forced to pull their new flavor, "Chuck Norris' Roundhouse Swirl", from shelves following a slew of complaints from parents. The ice cream was blood red, and contained pieces of small children and rusty nails.
A foolish man once asked Chuck Norris, "Boxers or briefs?" Chuck Norris laughed a mighty and cheerful laugh, then tore the man’s intestines out of his ass and used them to strangle him. Yes, remarkable as it may sound, it appears there are some people who are simply unaware that a man as sexy as Chuck Norris can't help but go commando.
The original title of the Bible was "Chuck Norris and Friends."
Chuck Norris once ate an entire live crocodile, then punched Steve Irwin in the face for being such a pussy.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
The term "carnivore" was invented after Chuck Norris was spotted at a carnival eating babies.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
--
We'll Survive this one..
ಠ_ಠ
ChIkEnMaN
TIMMAH!!!!!!
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We'll Survive this one..
ಠ_ಠ
ChIkEnMaN
--
We fall, only to learn how to pick our selves up.
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